San Francisco Weekly May 9, 2012 : Page 5

S F C ucka ree W IFE VS . S HERIFF : T HE P REQUEL BY JOE ESKENAZI You know that deposed San Francisco sheriff whose life and career were immolated follow-ing a sordid accusation from his wife? You sure? Because this isn’t a story about Ross Mirkarimi. Nearly 100 years back, San Fran-cisco Sheriff Frederick Eggers’ personal and political life exploded even more violently than our current sheriff-in-limbo’s. Following their New Year’s Eve confrontation, Lopez has supported her husband. Eggers’ wife, however, not only divorced hers — she led his recall effort. “Sheriff Fred Eggers is the latest to join ‘that innumerable caravan’ of divorce defen-dants which moves ‘to the pale realms’ of ali-mony,” reported the San Francisco Chronicle on Feb. 20, 1914, in language more florid than Filoli Gardens. “Yesterday the law firm of Staf-ford & Stafford put on file with the County Clerk a complaint by Mary Eggers charging the Sheriff with being a cruel husband.… It has taken the Sheriff and his spouse thirty-eight years to discover that marriage is for them a failure.” But at least it was quiet: “Mrs. Eggers says that for the past year and more she and her husband, though living under the same roof, have not spoken to each other.” Hell hath no fury like a sheriff sheriff’s s wife given the silent treatment. atment. “ASKS DIVORCE AND RECALL,” blared lared a Chronicle e headline from March 3, 1914. “This is not spite work,” Mary Eggers was quoted as saying. “I simply do not be-lieve that Sheriff eriff Eggers is a fit man to be in a public office.” ” She found d 9,999 others who felt the same. A group of Frederick Eggers’ ggers’ politi-cal foes turned ed in a re-call petition that hat November. Then hen the mess grew w even messier: : Eggers swore e out an arrest warrant on one ne of the orga-nizers, and fired red Undersher-iff Fred Klevesahl esahl on charges that many of the signatures were forged. Another pe-tition organizer, zer, H.J. ity NEW & IMPROVED sfweekly.com | CONTENTS A 1914 scandal shows that even for S.F.’s most embattled politico, things could be worse. Stafford, was none other than Mary Eggers’ divorce lawyer. The embattled sheriff claimed the signatures “were secured only by telling people that the petition was for Eggers’ re-election or for peace in Europe.” At this point, Team Mirkarimi has not ad-opted the “peace in Europe” strategy. The recall effort ultimately failed — but, then as now, the heavy reporting of the scandal did the incumbent no favors. Eggers was crushed in the September 1915 election, win-ning just one-third the votes of Thomas “Boss” Finn (whom Eggers had unseated in 1911). Two weeks after Eggers vacated office on successors busted a massive Jan. 8, 1916, his successor jailbreak. “It was not planned jailb the habit of Sheriff Eggers, it is said, to make periodical searches of prisoners,” noted the Chron . And his bad press didn’t stop there. “Ex-Sheriff Must Pay Di-“Ex-Sheri Wife $600,” read a vorced Wi headline. Mary Eggers March hea had agreed to t a payment of just $200 a month as long as Freder-“remained sheriff.” Af-ick Eggers “rem spearheading the effort to ter spearhe drive him from office, driv she successfully sued for triple the agreed-upon payment. Eggers, however, Egg the visionary be-was s th the San Francisco hind th vegetable garden Jail ve which, the Chron — wh noted, saved the city noted $100 a month. So he that going for him. had t Fred Noland | LETTERS | SUCKA FREE CITY | NIGHT+DAY | WWW. LOYALARMY .COM JOIN THE ARMY OF CUTENESS COME FIND SF WEEKLY’S STREET TEAM FOR FREE DRINKS, GIVEAWAYS, & MORE! ART 5/17 THURSDAY 8-11PM | BEST OF SF RUBY SKYE FILM | 5/19 SATURDAY 1 -6PM EAT UNCORKED 2012 GHIRAHELLI SQUARE | MUSIC 5/23 WEDNESDAY 5-8PM | A MAZING R ANTS O VERHEARD IN S.F. BY ALAN SCHERSTUHL Ranter : Pixie-cut, mini-skirted fortysome-thing woman in dingy garb that suggests hipsterism, homelessness, or both. Location : Outside the Walgreens at Market and Stockton Time : 10 p.m. on a recent Saturday Topics covered : Security guards’ prerequi-sites; the importance of advanced educa-tion; how shoes can be earned; why cops are slow to respond to shoplifting calls. [Detained by two much larger fel-lows, one in security garb and the other in pretend-shopper street clothes, and seated Muppet-like on the low wall that indicates the stairs to the Powell BART station, n, the pixie-cut woman fills the night with hectoring remarks.] Pixie-Cut Woman : “Loss prevention.” More like “people harasser!” What do you have to have to get that job? A G.E.D? Do you call your mom and tell her “I got one today! Today I showed Walgreens how much I was worth!” Do you have any college? No! If you did, you wouldn’t be doing oh-so-important “loss prevention!” I have two college de-grees, so don’t act like you outsmarted me. If you’re so good at your job, how come you didn’t get me until I was out the door? I was all the way outside, and the shoes were all the way outside, so I don’t think you have a case. Those aren’t Walgreens’ shoes once they’re outside! Those are mine! Plainclothes Security Guy : You didn’t pay for the shoes. Pixie-Cut Woman : No, I earned them. I made you two look good for once, so let’s just say loss-prevention paid for those shoes. Look, I walked around all day in holey socks, and I don’t have any mone money, and I saw those shoes and thought, “Why does Walgreens have shoes?” and then I thought, “I’m just taking what I need.” To each his own. Her own, I mean. And now you’re arresting me? [A long moment passes.] I guarantee they’re sitting around the station house arguing over who has to deal with my ass tonight. Cops hate me because I tell them the truth, and they know I’ll outsmart them. With my brain! You should use yours — maybe you could get a real job and stop arresting people in need. Plainclothes Security Guy : We’re not arresting you, ma’am. We’re just making sure that you never again trespass in a Walgreens. Pixie-Cut Woman : I was trying not to trespass! I was trying to leave Walgreens when you stopped me! [The cops arrive, and the pixie-cut wom-an’s remarks devolve into shouts of “fuck,” “fuckers,” and “cocksuckers.”] BREWS TO BENEFIT DARN GOOD FOOD SF WEEKLY 5/26 SATURDAY 12PM -4PM FCC BEACH BLOCK PARTY LA PLAYA M AY 9-M AY 15, 2012 @SFWEEKLYSTREET FIND OUT MORE ON TWITTER 5

Sucka Free City

Joe Eskenazi

WIFE VS. SHERIFF: THE PREQUEL A 1914 scandal shows that even for S.F.’s most embattled politico, things could be worse. You know that deposed San Francisco sheriff whose life and career were immolated following a sordid accusation from his wife? You sure? Because this isn’t a story about Ross Mirkarimi. Nearly 100 years back, San Francisco Sheriff Frederick Eggers’ personal and political life exploded even more violently than our current sheriff-in-limbo’s. Following their New Year’s Eve confrontation, Lopez has supported her husband. Eggers’ wife, however, not only divorced hers — she led his recall effort. “Sheriff Fred Eggers is the latest to join ‘that innumerable caravan’ of divorce defendants which moves ‘to the pale realms’ of alimony,” reported the San Francisco Chronicle on Feb. 20, 1914, in language more florid than Filoli Gardens. “Yesterday the law firm of Stafford & Stafford put on file with the County Clerk a complaint by Mary Eggers charging the Sheriff with being a cruel husband.… It has taken the Sheriff and his spouse thirty-eight years to discover that marriage is for them a failure.” But at least it was quiet: “Mrs. Eggers says that for the past year and more she and her husband, though living under the same roof, have not spoken to each other.” Hell hath no fury like a sheriff’s wife given the silent treatment. “ASKS DIVORCE AND RECALL,” blared a Chronicle headline from March 3, 1914. “This is not spite work,” Mary Eggers was quoted as saying. “I simply do not believe that Sheriff Eggers is a fit man to be in a public office.” She found 9,999 others who felt the same. A group of Frederick Eggers’ political foes turned in a recall petition that November. Then the mess grew even messier: Eggers swore out an arrest warrant on one of the organizers, and fired Undersheriff Fred Klevesahl on charges that many of the signatures were forged. Another petition organizer, H.J. Stafford, was none other than Mary Eggers’ divorce lawyer. The embattled sheriff claimed the signatures “were secured only by telling people that the petition was for Eggers’ reelection or for peace in Europe.” At this point, Team Mirkarimi has not adopted the “peace in Europe” strategy. The recall effort ultimately failed — but, then as now, the heavy reporting of the scandal did the incumbent no favors. Eggers was crushed in the September 1915 election, winning just one-third the votes of Thomas “Boss” Finn (whom Eggers had unseated in 1911). Two weeks after Eggers vacated office on Jan. 8, 1916, his successors busted a massive planned jailbreak. “It was not the habit of Sheriff Eggers, it is said, to make periodical searches of prisoners,” noted the Chron. And his bad press didn’t stop there. "Ex-Sheriff Must Pay Divorced Wife $600,” read a March headline. Mary Eggers had agreed to a payment of just $200 a month as long as Frederick Eggers “remained sheriff.” After spearheading the effort to drive him from office, she successfully sued for triple the agreedupon payment. Eggers, however, was the visionary behind the San Francisco Jail vegetable garden — which, the Chron noted, saved the city $100 a month. So he had that going for him. AMAZING RANTS OVERHEARD IN S.F. BY ALAN SCHERSTUHL Ranter: Pixie-cut, mini-skirted fortysomething woman in dingy garb that suggests hipsterism, homelessness, or both. Location: Outside the Walgreens at Market and Stockton Time: 10 p.m. on a recent Saturday Topics covered: Security guards’ prerequisites; the importance of advanced education; how shoes can be earned; why cops are slow to respond to shoplifting calls. [Detained by two much larger fellows, one in security garb and the other in pretend-shopper street clothes, and seated Muppet-like on the low wall that indicates the stairs to the Powell BART station, the pixie-cut woman fills the night with hectoring remarks.] Pixie-Cut Woman: “Loss prevention.” More like “people harasser!” What do you have to have to get that job? A G.E.D? Do you call your mom and tell her “I got one today! Today I showed Walgreens how much I was worth!” Do you have any college? No! If you did, you wouldn’t be doing oh-so-important “loss prevention!” I have two college degrees, so don’t act like you outsmarted me. If you’re so good at your job, how come you didn’t get me until I was out the door? I was all the way outside, and the shoes were all the way outside, so I don’t think you have a case. Those aren’t Walgreens’ shoes once they’re outside! Those are mine! Plainclothes Security Guy: You didn’t pay for the shoes. Pixie-Cut Woman: No, I earned them. I made you two look good for once, so let’s just say loss-prevention paid for those shoes. Look, I walked around all day in holey socks, and I don’t have any money, and I saw those shoes and thought, “Why does Walgreens have shoes?” and then I thought, “I’m just taking what I need.” To each his own. Her own, I mean. And now you’re arresting me? [A long moment passes.] I guarantee they’re sitting around the station house arguing over who has to deal with my ass tonight. Cops hate me because I tell them the truth, and they know I’ll outsmart them. With my brain! You should use yours — maybe you could get a real job and stop arresting people in need. Plainclothes Security Guy: We’re not arresting you, ma’am. We’re just making sure that you never again trespass in a Walgreens. Pixie-Cut Woman: I was trying not to trespass! I was trying to leave Walgreens when you stopped me! [The cops arrive, and the pixie-cut woman’s remarks devolve into shouts of “fuck,” “fuckers,” and “cocksuckers.”]

Street Team Events

Loyal Army Clothing

Previous Page Next Page

Publication List

Click Here